Wow I can’t believe it my maternity leave for work is over as of today! And I go back to work tomorrow.. It’s crazy but part of me can’t wait and the other part doesn’t want to go. Ok let me explain. The part of me that wants to go is the part that kinda looks at work as mommy time.. Ok I know it sounds crazy cause I mean it’s work, but see I work in macys on the sales floor so it’s interaction with people and that’s one of the things that I like about my job, to me it doesn’t feel like work.
And the part that of me that doesn’t want to go back is because I have been home for 8 weeks that I got into a routine in the house and with the baby, and now I’m gonna have to change it during the week, ok mainly in the evening because I work nights so that way hubby can be at home with the girls, and the baby, it’s what works best for us. But most of all I know that I have not been away from the baby for more then an hour or two at a time and even then I was missing him like crazy. I feel very bonded to him, for some reason it’s a little different with him, ok please don’t misunderstand I have a good loving bond with both my girls but they are 10 and 6 so it’s a little different now, and also I love my all my kids equally, maybe it’s just because most of my day is spent with the baby while the girls are in school. But I must go back to work to help me with bills and the house so I’m gonna have to suck it up and try not to cry..
I know I’ll be ok I just hope I don’t have a panic attack or anxiety attack while at work..
Anyways that’s it for now, I’ll write and let you know how my first day went.